I’ve read a ton of parenting books, like a TON. All Christian, but from many different perspectives within their faith. Some have produced fruit in my life, and a few I’ve even considered life-changing. But after 8 years of parenting (and many more to go), this is what I’ve found.
If I get my parenting wisdom from a parenting book, I may be able to implement it’s methods externally. I may be able to say THIS to my child instead of THAT, and who knows- it may be successful. But all the while, I could still be complaining and grumbling about my child in my head. I could be seething on the inside. I could be patting myself on the back for properly implementing the method/tip while my heart hasn’t even been touched. The reality is behavior modification without heart transformation only lasts for so long. Eventually, “out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.”
Jesus said in Matthew 5:27: “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Jesus desires purity in our hearts, which leads to our thought life, which leads to our actions. He doesn’t just stop at behavior- if so, he would’ve approved of the Pharisees, yeah? But remember what He called them? White washed tombs 😳 It’s not enough to appear to have it all together, while in reality we’re growing in bitterness or frustration with our families on the inside. THIS is why no parenting manual other than the Word of God is alive and active. No word other than His is sharper than any double-edged sword. Only HE divides soul and spirit, joints and marrow; only His Word judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.
Just like Moses beheld Jesus on Mount Sinai and his face shone so brightly that the Israelites couldn’t deny that Moses had been with The Light of the World, so too will we as mothers dazzle with the unfading glory of Christ as we abide in Him and He changes us more and more into His image. As we ABIDE IN THE VINE, we won’t need a how-to book. We will move and function in the fruits of the One we are spending the most time with. Good fruit equals good parenting. Good fruit comes from the Vine. We can truly do nothing apart from him, especially parent. We will reflect what we Behold, and we only have so much time in our days, sisters. We can behold methodologies, or we can behold Beauty Himself. Which will we choose?
Blessings, mama. May you seek Him and know Him, and may your children reap the benefits of your intimacy with the Father of Lights.
This is an incredible perspective and very timely. I am a first time mama to an almost one year old and have thought, I need to find a good parenting book. But, as a mama our time is already so limited so now I am excited to just keep seeking His face and ABIDING in Him to have His good fruit produce in me and for the Holy Spirit power to impact my parenting. Bless you for your obedience in creating this website. God is so good.
Oh, praise God! Congratulations on your little one! Abiding in the Vine= good fruit= good parenting! You got this! Bless you and your one year old!