Playing the Role of “Martyr Mom”–

There’s a difference between having a truly difficult season or even few seasons, and permanently playing the role of ‘martyr mom’ to manipulate family and friends.

Jada Hite

There are days when I’m genuinely struggling and need a break. Let me correct that. There are WEEKS at a time when I am genuinely struggling and need a break. And then, there are days when I’m not struggling at all, and yet the temptation to claim the title of “bedraggled, woe is me martyr mom” still beckons me.

Self-imposed martyrdom, I’ve found in my life, is either un-surrendered bitterness or laziness, or both. Hebrews 12 says to “see to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no ‘root of bitterness’ springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.'” That “many” looks like our families, our friends, our local church and community reaping the consequences of our “determined to be a victim: attitudes.

I look back at seasons that genuinely weren’t that hard, but at the time, I thought that if I didn’t complain, or talk about how hard my role as a mother was, no one would notice or acknowledge me.

I simply wasn’t casting my cares onto the Lord. I thought playing victim in my home would cause those around me to provide the validation I desperately desired. But even when they did (which was often), it still didn’t fill the void. The break never lasted long enough. The validation never felt like the words I needed. Turns out only Jesus can fill that longing.

He knows exactly when to comfort, and when to expose. His Word is the Sword, discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Sadly, you can go quite a while manipulating the people around you, but you can’t manipulate God. He knows what you actually need no matter what you claim. He’s the Father that dries your tears but also straightens your back. He’s the One who will not only show you the roots of that bitterness, but dig them up for you too!

I recognize this topic isn’t for everyone. But if this resonates with you, it’s time to take the resentment, complaining, bitterness, unforgiveness, whatever it may be- and lay it at His feet. It’s burden that is not only NOT serving your family, but it’s genuinely not serving you. It’s time to get honest.

Let’s get healed, delivered and set free, that we may be Psalm 128:3 women!

Psalm 128:3–

“Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table.”

This is His last days Way.

Love you sisters,

Jada